Solihah girl in the making. Still.

Oh Allah, today i cried. I was so sad when i remember how i left my mom to go to internship and after 3 days my mom died on the hospital bed. I regret i was not helping my mom on that day. I regret i was not able to understand my mom's needs during that time. Because i have no idea she was actually in battle of sakaratul maut which mak was fighting to syaitan offers. It was a crucial time, i do not even have thought to give mak drinks while she like giving us sort of signs. But i dont understand. I am crying now. Forgive me mak. I learn in school how the sakaratul maut been taken to and what should we react. But i only done half of what i know. I remembered i pray hard and read suratol yaasin besides you. And i repeat kalimah lailahaillah near your ear. But still i regret. nye tak suapkan mak air. You must be really thirsty that time. Ooo allah please.. in the next time, if this event ever happen again, please guide me to do the right thing. Please give me ilham to do what should i suppose to do. I dont want this to happen again to my love one. Al-fatihah to mak. Allah please accept her. Redha dan terimalah mak. I love her so much. And i know i cannot love her as much as she love me. I know.

************

I listened to the radio earlier in morning at the office. The difference of sabar and shukur when we faces musibah. Kalau kita pasrah dan terima takdir ini, yes that's sabar. And it is not easy either. But higher than that is shukur. When orang sabar said innalillah, but people who is shukur will say alhamdulillah when bad things happened. Mashallah. The ustaz also said saidina ali was so sad when allah does not give him sick as allah has forgotten him. So when he got sick, he say alhamdulillah and got relief because allah still seen him, still recognised his existence. Subhanallah. After all, we only need to be recognised in the eyes of allah, not people not anyone. I want to be a shukur person. Feel and believe in heart, saying with lisan and express it with action. InsyaAllah. Be solihah girl ainin sofia 😊

This is really a mixture

Setiap hari kita punya masa yang sama banyak. Tapi hari ini rasa spesel sebab banyak insiden berlaku. Perasaan bercampur. Gembira, sedih, takut, serabut, bedebar-debar..muahaha.. but i think i start to love my job..insyaAllah pls let it be forever like this. Special day which i start my morning with my boss. We have a meeting with the other boss in payment side. Even i was not contributing much in the discussion, and i know my boss didn't expect me to come out with solution tho..hahahaha.. i knew, she brought me together to this meeting just to give exposure of meeting as well as for me to have better understanding in a bigger perspective. So thanks boss for that trust.

Then, one of my kakak ofis just come back from maternity leave..and she wear hijab now..alhamdulillah..i am very happy for her..and the other kakak buat lawak..sekarang only archana not yet wearing tudung..hahaha..excluding mommy..so meriah our section today.

Before going home, 5min before 7pm. I entered elevator with my good friend. A chinesse. We talk on many things while laughing on silly stuffs..suddenly the lift open and hod of our dept walk into the lift.. he did notice me and say wahhh so happy..very good ya? Hewhew..kuat sangat pulak tergelak..but i was so shocked that i do not know how to react..and for a moment all become silent. Then i ask him.. going home already? He said..yala..its already late maa.. 1 hour..this not going to be efficient to stay laa..isn't? I just answered yela..the safest answer 😂
Deep in my heart.. i hope this boss will never feel regret as taking me as his staff. And i promise i wont do such things that will result to that. Second, i hope he remembered the first things he advice to me after 2months in..make a lot of friends..now i have many friends from many races..and i was so happy everybody is treating me as human and not robot.. alhamdulillah..

I drove car home..then i realized i need to pump fuel..memang dah nak kering sangat..bertangguh je nak isi.. so now memang urgently kene isi.. so i stop my car in petron..when i want to make payment, i remembered my purse was in my drawer in the office..so careless.. this is not my first time to left purse in ofis but my first experience when need to use money to buy fuel urgently😁

I want to write more but my body needs rest. Never mind i will come back again. Assalam. Gudnite.

Sofia makes a come back

Assalam

Dear readers, i am nervous right now. I do not know what Allah has planned for me tomorrow. I have a bad feeling on this thing. Allah i know you has already set up every single story in my life. You have the timeline. You are the most powerful that you can do anything you want while i have nothing so thats why i am here. I am begging to you ya Allah please make tomorrow good for me. Please allow me to keep that thing still in my pocket for just few moments. I am not ready. I will surrender myself. I promise. Please postpone it. I just could not bear if other people know the truth before me when it was actually about me myself.