Oh Allah, today i cried. I was so sad when i remember how i left my mom to go to internship and after 3 days my mom died on the hospital bed. I regret i was not helping my mom on that day. I regret i was not able to understand my mom's needs during that time. Because i have no idea she was actually in battle of sakaratul maut which mak was fighting to syaitan offers. It was a crucial time, i do not even have thought to give mak drinks while she like giving us sort of signs. But i dont understand. I am crying now. Forgive me mak. I learn in school how the sakaratul maut been taken to and what should we react. But i only done half of what i know. I remembered i pray hard and read suratol yaasin besides you. And i repeat kalimah lailahaillah near your ear. But still i regret. nye tak suapkan mak air. You must be really thirsty that time. Ooo allah please.. in the next time, if this event ever happen again, please guide me to do the right thing. Please give me ilham to do what should i suppose to do. I dont want this to happen again to my love one. Al-fatihah to mak. Allah please accept her. Redha dan terimalah mak. I love her so much. And i know i cannot love her as much as she love me. I know.
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I listened to the radio earlier in morning at the office. The difference of sabar and shukur when we faces musibah. Kalau kita pasrah dan terima takdir ini, yes that's sabar. And it is not easy either. But higher than that is shukur. When orang sabar said innalillah, but people who is shukur will say alhamdulillah when bad things happened. Mashallah. The ustaz also said saidina ali was so sad when allah does not give him sick as allah has forgotten him. So when he got sick, he say alhamdulillah and got relief because allah still seen him, still recognised his existence. Subhanallah. After all, we only need to be recognised in the eyes of allah, not people not anyone. I want to be a shukur person. Feel and believe in heart, saying with lisan and express it with action. InsyaAllah. Be solihah girl ainin sofia 😊
